There are those nights when curiosities and thoughts from long ago rack my mind. Staving off sleep, which often begins the slow spiral down the melancholy rabbit hole. Reliving glories from yesteryears and memories that highlight all my best characteristics. Both of which seem desperately far off in the haze of the past, and elude my now waking moments.
It’s usually in these instances that I turn to the photo album on my phone. This is not because I’m a depressed sort of character. Quite the opposite however. I find it all to easy to slip into the richness of a photo. How they are saturated with sentimental value. Almost as if they are a sort of portal to the past. You gaze into the hues that make it up, and are dropped into a memory. One that causes a stirring inside. As your head rings with the voices, or your nostrils filled with the sent of the subject of the photo.
I sometimes gaze upon the mountains of Ireland and wonder if they’ll ever grace my world again. If I’ll ever again be able to awaken and enjoy my cup of tea next to the window basking in their glory. Or I look upon early photos with Jade, my love, and get all tangled up in the excitement of our early days. When our love was new and we were exploring all the chambers of one anothers heart. I still can’t believe she’s mine and that our love has continued to grow.
Other times I get lost in the drunken mans stare as he looks into the digital eye of the phone. Just before he confesses his past sins and his future hopes. Although those words were not captured by the phone, just by my wonder. My mind leaps from memory to memory, falling down that hole.
You see I’m a sensitive sort of soul and when I fall into the rhythm and repose of these emotions. I sometimes feel to much and get lost in the beauty of a time. Reliving some of the greatest times of my life. Then to suddenly be ripped from the memory as you remember that you’re lying alone in your bed. A tragic full circle. From true reality to relived reality then back to reality.
Even while on an adventure I begrudge the advent of the iphone photo album. As I know that one day the album will have to close. The last picture and moment will be tucked away into the million wires of technology, and thus that adventure will have ended. Forever readily available for my waiting heart and thoughts.
But, all is not lost. As the moments I captured yesterday, am capturing today, and will preserve in the coming months have been the best in a long time. As right now I’m caught up in a beautiful love affair with a girl who I’d never thought to light up my world. And that, well, that is supremely good. And the photo album on that love will not close anytime soon.