French Toast (Part 2.)

Summer 2014 was getting close to rolling around, stirring up my wanderlust as promises of adventure loomed. But my future summer was still quite uncertain at this point. I was trying desperately to get to Europe, but all my plans kept falling through. Twice I’d tried, and twice I’d failed in securing tickets, and finalizing plans. A madness and desperation inside me was starting to set in.

While this whirlwind was in the process Jade informed me over Facebook that she’d decided to extend her stay in Ireland in order to see me when I came. An arrival that was still very uncertain at that point in time, yet it gave me a bigger purpose and reason to get there. Luckily things finally came through and my friend Ian swept in last minute and purchased me a ticket over to Europe to go pal around with him for a while. With that my fate was sealed. We journeyed and wondered through Amsterdam and London to arrive in Ireland some days later, where Jade was apparently waiting one me. A feeling and news that I didn’t know how to process or feel about yet. Nervousness, excitement, and longing ravaged my soul.

Things with Jade didn’t click immediately however, and my doubts grew. About two weeks into my stay all us interns had a night into town like we often did, but this was my first time out with Jade since last summer. I was paralyzed and had no idea what to do or how to act. My doubts about anything between us had crippled me and left me lame and inattentive all night. Wondering what could have been in some alternate universe where things worked out for me.

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As we made our final run of the night for traditional kebabs to cap off our drunken escapades Jade confessed her disappointment in me from the night.

Crushed, utterly cut in two. A year later, after hopes being born, anticipation grown, and many a night left wondering it all came crashing down in front of my eyes. I reached out to touch her back and apologize for anything I’d done and make things right, but she ran away from my touch and in my mind my time was over with Jade. All that would be left was months with her in the house. Killing myself over what I could have done right.

Later that night I was sitting in the living room reading my book before departing for bed while Jade was in the kitchen making some midnight snack. “Jeremy you know I’m obsessed with you?” My head reeled, unbelieving of what I’d heard. Things really were okay. We once again confessed our feelings for each other, and the fear that the other had moved on from last summer. Things somehow worked out again, and thus began our relationship. In the dim lit living room of Eclipse, just feet from where we’d met the year before.

Our love began and lasted for roughly two months in Ireland while she remained at my side there. We soon had moved into the same room, which she decorated in the cutest and most simplistic of ways. We spent our evenings together, and tried to surprise each other with the coming of each new day. Be it with little notes left to be found throughout the day. A bouquet of flowers picked while she was away doing a chore. Or even a night spent away in another house complete with champagne, candles, and bagels.

We couldn’t help but fall in love as we got to explore the inner contents of each others heats and learn who the other really was. Confessing fears, and speaking of hopes and dreams. Telling little histories about ourselves, and always striving to make the other smile while milking every second out of the day together that we could. Things were simple, beautiful, and unreal.

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Although the day came when she finally had to go. A traumatic separation for the both of us. We had no idea what the future held for one another, when we might see each other again, or what would happen. We were scared, desperate, and confused. A sad way to be separated from someone you’d fallen madly in love with. But we made it work with messages in whatever form we could send them in, and hours upon hours of skyping. Thank god for technology.

A few weeks after her leaving good news finally developed. I was going to get to see my love again sooner then I’d thought. I had to make a trip out of the country for my visa, and I could go pretty much wherever I wanted. So a plan was made to visit Jade in Paris and spend 10 days with her in the city of love. A perfect setting for our reunion.

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… To be continued in Paris

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