I’m not sure how to come to grips with tomorrow yet. So many different feeling are drifting around inside of me, that’s it’s awfully difficult to nail it down to exactly which one if most present. There is fear sailing high on it’s impregnable ship, crushing lesser feelings that get in it’s way ,like anticipation and worry. While there are a few other juggernauts along for the ride. Love perhaps being the biggest of all, with excitement somehow tailing close behind in it’s wake.
But I don’t really want to nail tomorrow down to a certain feeling either. Nothing should be that simple, or one tract. We’re people, and people are complicated and complex. Capable of feeling many things at once. Like a deep worry of fear in the pits. Not knowing if this spontaneously thrown together last minute trip is such a good idea. Perhaps it would have been better to stay in the states and work all summer instead, along with all my other friends. When it comes down to it I honestly don’t know if I’m making the right decision in going. It’s the age old battle between the head and the heart. At the end of the day I have to go. If anything for love.
Love for travel, love for a country, love for friends, love for adventure. I’d rather feel all through love then not at all. To let her guide me with her gentle hands, then be ruled by reason alone. Of course I leave room for rationalization, as like I said, we’re complex beings, capable of more then just a base and singular feeling.
Yet, I can’t help but be overwhelmed on this night though. Packing and knowing that my return will not be had for a couple months. As few possessions go into a bag I think of the faces I will see that I was afraid I might not again. To think of the Tsiopani family and their home Eclipse. Things I wasn’t sure that I’d get to experience again when they last escaped my vision, and other surroundings replaced their familiar embrace. It’s a wild feeling to know that those things are on their way in the not to distant future. To know they’ll once again consume my world and re-imbue my soul with a deep burning love and romanticism. As it can’t be helped when your surrounded by so much beauty.
Then there’s one of my best friends Ian. A friend of old who I’m going to get to live and travel with for almost two weeks. To experience foreign and new things with a familiar and fun fellow by my side. To get to adventure with him, after already having done so much by his side. These things all weigh down on me until I can hardly breath because of their weight tonight. The excitement, fear, and love are all heavy feeling to bear at times.
I can’t wait to read future writings after new life is lived. I can’t wait to examine growth after another summer has come and gone. I can’t wait to laugh with familiar smiles. I can’t wait to eat like a king every night again. It’s a future I welcome with open arms and heart.
But, I’ll miss this place as well. My home. Where love was first discovered, and who I am built. But I’ll carry that with me as I leave it behind for a brief spell. I’ll miss the experiences lost here, and the family left behind. And to them, I bid them a very heavy adieu. With the promise of return soon though. A return full of new stories, and new life. So, until next time America, I bid you a fond fare well. And I shall see you tomorrow Europe. As for now though, goodnight world.
P.S If you’d like to follow along more with the adventure follow me on instagram @jeremystormsky, or click on the pictures off to the left. I’ll be taking and sharing lots of pictures of the journey along the way. I welcome all to come along for the ride.