Glasgow Foolishness

Irish pubs. Legendary right?

Oh yeah, of course,

everyone knows that…

That is until you make

a complete fool of yourself.

But that being said the

pub, and to be more specific,

P.F. McCarthys, was quite the legendary place and now holds a very special

place in my heart.

Here’s why.

_______________________________________ 

One of the most rewarding things in Ireland was the pub.

We’d work all day at the Eclipse Center, mowing grass, strimming, helping with the horses, taking care of kids, just pretty much whatever needed done that day, you name it, we did it. While the work wasn’t hard, it was time demanding and would usually run until about 4 to 6 everyday. So needless to say a cold pint at the end of it all went a long way for the psyche.

The pilgrimage we’d make once a week was into Kenmare, the closest town about 15-20 min away, just depending on how dangerous and daring your cab driver was that night. It’s a lovely little touristy town though right on the Ring of Kerry with all the little boutiques and eateries you’d imagine. But the town truly shined with it’s nice little stretch of pubs.

The greatest of which (and of course I’m bias here) was P.F. McCarthy.

Ah good ol’ P.F’s, everything was perfect about that place. Everything from the area out back, where one could escape the noise and craziness of the bar inside in exchange for a wonderful night with friend, to the live music that was played there almost every night we were in town.

And as a 20 year old from America getting to actually enjoy a beer legally in a setting like that was too good to ask for.

BUT, and this is a very big but, some events went down the first night that we were in the pub that’ll both haunt me and make me chuckle till the day I die.

Now it’s important to remember that at this point in the story I was already 3-4 pints in and feeling pretty happy, but the only downside to drinking is I have the freaking tiniest bladder in the world and am always having to frequent the restroom. One thing that no one told me until after the fact was that people in Ireland like to talk to you while you’re at the urinal doing your biz.

So here I am, ignorant American, using the urinal, when one of the locals starts talking to me.

“How’s your night going?” I was rather taken aback by this and caught off guard because I don’t think I’ve ever had a stranger talk to me at a urinal before.

So I respond, “Not to bad man, I’m just happy to be here.”

“Ahh, are you American?!”

“Yeah, from Arkansas.”

“Ah, fucking Americans, I bet you don’t even know the capital of your own neighbor, Canada.” This threw me off, as it came COMPLETELY out of left field, and like I said I was already kinda tipsy and just not on top of my game.

“Uhm Ontario?” Being the first thing that came to mind, which was wrong. It’s Ottawa if you didn’t know. But regardless this only pissed him off all the more, and it was at this point that the 3 other drunken Irish in the bathroom started to mumble and chime in themselves.

He just laughed at me and continued. “Wow, that’s what I thought, do you even know the capital of Ireland?”

In my pathetic freaked out tipsy state the first thing that sprung to mind for some reason was, “Yeah, of course I do, it’s Glasgow.”

I don’t think I need to point out the foolishness in this, or how immediately in my head I went, “oh shit, I’m dumb and in for it now.” but it was already kind of too late.

“AHH, fucking Americans!!! Think you just know everything…” It was at that point that I simply left the bathroom, as the other three Irish in there were just as mad as their leader.

Now let me point out that yes, I know the capital of Ireland (Dublin), but at the time I was not on top of my game and completely taken out of my element. Not an excuse sure, but hey it makes for a good story at least.

So I left the bathroom and b-lined it straight for our table out back, where it was warm and safe. I took a long drink from my Guinness and looked at all my friends and just start laughing and told them the story… Which was a mistake, a terrible terrible mistake, after that, every time someone did something stupid, or I was introduced to someone new, or we just needed a good laugh, that story was brought back up. I got to relive it almost on the daily.

I’m not complaining though, because it was a funny great story and one of my favorite snippets from the pub… well except for that time there was a random group of guys that broke out into acapella singing Tenacious D, but that’s a story for another time.